I often think. Those three words and what followed changed everything for me… I read what I had written every day for weeks and weeks. Each time I absorbed the meaning of what I read deeper and deeper until I finally understood how magical acceptance is.
I no longer just quasi coped, I no longer allowed my disability to consume me, control me or define me. I stopped making believe. I stopped letting the noise of disability and what I grieved for in left behind thoughts beat me up. I moved away from the place where I was rudely introduced to disability and placed myself into the promise of the day. I no longer felt trapped in those moments, moments that gripped me in fear, anxiety, and loss of purpose. I released the trap, stepped out and began anew.
I began to control the changes I was going through rather than let those changes control me. I discovered unique, yet effective ways to maneuver through my environment. It wasn’t perfect by any means, but it was a whole lot less noisy when I didn’t think so hard about it. I just moved within what was right in front of me and took control.
I developed an even more personal form of physical therapy, one that incorporated my real world and not a physical therapy lab and strange equipment. I released the anger I held and embraced… magical acceptance. I realized the incredible value, gifts, and assets I still had and the possibilities each of those would bring to my future. I learned that although my disability basically affected literally all aspects of my life, there were ways to compensate, my way. I took inventory on my relationships and myself – big inventory! I stepped away from placing value on the status I held financially, professionally and all other pre-disability statuses, I looked inward to the value of myself. I didn’t have to compare anymore I only had to repair by using what I already had – me. I gently moved my disability to my side and in front of me replaced it with creative possibility, courage, belief and faith. I turned down the noise and turned up my life.