I often think.  Those three words and what followed changed everything for me…  I read what I had written every day for weeks and weeks.  Each time I absorbed the meaning of what I read deeper and deeper until I finally understood how magical acceptance is.

I no longer just quasi coped, I no longer allowed my disability to consume me, control me or define me.  I stopped making believe.  I stopped letting the noise of disability and what I grieved for in left behind thoughts beat me up.  I moved away from the place where I was rudely introduced to disability and placed myself into the promise of the day.  I no longer felt trapped in those moments, moments that gripped me in fear, anxiety, and loss of purpose.  I released the trap, stepped out and began anew.

I began to control the changes I was going through rather than let those changes control me.  I discovered unique, yet effective ways to maneuver through my environment.  It wasn’t perfect by any means, but it was a whole lot less noisy when I didn’t think so hard about it.  I just moved within what was right in front of me and took control.

I developed an even more personal form of physical therapy, one that incorporated my real world and not a physical therapy lab and strange equipment.  I released the anger I held and embraced… magical acceptance.  I realized the incredible value, gifts, and assets I still had and the possibilities each of those would bring to my future.  I learned that although my disability basically affected literally all aspects of my life, there were ways to compensate, my way.  I took inventory on my relationships and myself – big inventory!  I stepped away from placing value on the status I held financially, professionally and all other pre-disability statuses, I looked inward to the value of myself.  I didn’t have to compare anymore I only had to repair by using what I already had – me.  I gently moved my disability to my side and in front of me replaced it with creative possibility, courage, belief and faith.  I turned down the noise and turned up my life.