Chapter 17

Oh my God, what did we do!!!

That first 20 minute trial astonished all of us. It was a day I will

never forget! I wanted to use the TDU every single day. I wanted my brain to

change; I wanted to change my brain! Yet again, another wait settled in. There

was work to be done; setting up a customized lab, design a protocol for testing on

others, pull in more funding, and gather everything we needed to move forward. I

fell into a wishing massive anticipation for the day I would be back in the lab for

more 20 minute miracles. The wait was torture!

I shared my excitement of the 20 minute result with my family, they

were so excited for me. But SFB (the guy I was seeing and mentioned earlier)

maintained his aloof attitude about the struggles I was having and even with my

exciting news he was without any supportive or excited reaction. I believe his idea

of reaction was that attention should be on him. Whoops, I digress… but hey, it’s

the truth.

Then the day after the TDU 20 minute discovery took a turn, I fell into

a physical and emotional mess. The turn shook me into a state of shock that scared

the hell out of me. Everything about my lack of balance was amplified; everything

was back to the way it was before I began the research, only worse. I began to

think that the 20 minutes on the TDU turned my brain into mush, that it removed a

piece. My fear was so great that I called Mitch and with tears mixed with words I

described what was going on. Mitch, in his gentle way, calmed me down.

Together we talked it through and established that I wasn’t any worse but rather I

was experiencing a comparison. We discussed how the 20 minute discovery

caused my brain and body to experience a huge positive difference in my abilities

increasing my sense of relief much deeper than the results I achieved with the 10

minute trials. Mitch and I figured out that my return to how I was before the trails

jettisoned me to a perceived amplified state of regression. Still, it took quite a

while for Mitch to convince me even though we talked through; I was going to be

okay, that I would adjust to what I was feeling and not to worry.

Mitch was right. I did adjust and my fear of a setback did lighten up,

after all I had plenty of practice with the way I was before the research. Mitch

promised me when everything was in place the trials would resume and I would be

back to the lab using the 20 minute approach frequently and investigate the effects

it had on the residual. Perhaps we might even produce a consistent residual result

that would grow, that the TDU would make my brain change itself and

re-wire the damaged me, or, was it me that was changing my brain?