Oh my God, what did we do???

Chapter 17

Oh my God, what did we do!!!

That first 20 minute trial astonished all of us. It was a day I will

never forget! I wanted to use the TDU every single day. I wanted my brain to

change; I wanted to change my brain! Yet again, another wait settled in. There

was work to be done; setting up a customized lab, design a protocol for testing on

others, pull in more funding, and gather everything we needed to move forward. I

fell into a wishing massive anticipation for the day I would be back in the lab for

more 20 minute miracles. The wait was torture!

I shared my excitement of the 20 minute result with my family, they

were so excited for me. But SFB (the guy I was seeing and mentioned earlier)

maintained his aloof attitude about the struggles I was having and even with my

exciting news he was without any supportive or excited reaction. I believe his idea

of reaction was that attention should be on him. Whoops, I digress… but hey, it’s

the truth.

Then the day after the TDU 20 minute discovery took a turn, I fell into

a physical and emotional mess. The turn shook me into a state of shock that scared

the hell out of me. Everything about my lack of balance was amplified; everything

was back to the way it was before I began the research, only worse. I began to

think that the 20 minutes on the TDU turned my brain into mush, that it removed a

piece. My fear was so great that I called Mitch and with tears mixed with words I

described what was going on. Mitch, in his gentle way, calmed me down.

Together we talked it through and established that I wasn’t any worse but rather I

was experiencing a comparison. We discussed how the 20 minute discovery

caused my brain and body to experience a huge positive difference in my abilities

increasing my sense of relief much deeper than the results I achieved with the 10

minute trials. Mitch and I figured out that my return to how I was before the trails

jettisoned me to a perceived amplified state of regression. Still, it took quite a

while for Mitch to convince me even though we talked through; I was going to be

okay, that I would adjust to what I was feeling and not to worry.

Mitch was right. I did adjust and my fear of a setback did lighten up,

after all I had plenty of practice with the way I was before the research. Mitch

promised me when everything was in place the trials would resume and I would be

back to the lab using the 20 minute approach frequently and investigate the effects

it had on the residual. Perhaps we might even produce a consistent residual result

that would grow, that the TDU would make my brain change itself and

re-wire the damaged me, or, was it me that was changing my brain?

This entry was posted in Acceptance, Aminoglycosides, Biomedical Research, Clinical Research, Disability, Discovery, Gentamicin, Identity, Independent Living, Inspiration, Mitch Tyler, Motivation, Non Fiction, Oscillopsia, Ototoxicity, Paul Bach-y-Rita, paying attention, Perception, Rehabilitation, Research, resilence, Self Help, Sensory Substitution, Spirit, Subject Zero, Tongue Display Unit, Transition, trauma, University of Wisconsin-Madison, Vestibular System, Yuri Danilov. Bookmark the permalink.

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