Would’ve, could’ve, should’ve… you know those “if only I would have’s”… These little phrases serve no purpose other than to torment us, add to the noise. Not to say that they are forbidden to be said or thought or asked, they should, it’s all part of the introduction process. Yep, have to go there… It’s moving through them and not getting stuck in them that’s the tricky part. When I moved through these phrases my thoughts became held up in ruminating questions that serve no answers, the noise became louder and I couldn’t pay attention to the simple sweet noise of simply being me.
So far I’ve not found where it is written that one has to like it when bad things happen or to go about our days like nothing happened. We aren’t Saints or Prophets, or even in a position to change the world, but hey, what we can change is our mind by practicing attention to regarding anything as possible. I found that by paying full direct attention, anything can be done. Yes, we can rise above rumination to a place where opportunities to offer close consideration and praise of every positive experience that has shaped our beings is as abundant as the stars. I learned I still had that amazing being, I was still me – just in a different outfit – so it’s a bit mismatched, but that’s okay, it suits me just beautifully.
I’m also going to suggest that it is perfectly okay to be pissed off in the most incredibly, intense, monumental way. Yes indeed you should be pissed! But pissing around through self inflicted tormenting serves no purpose other than to freeze time in a place you know you don’t want to be. Piss on that fire, put it out and start another, a fire where you set your future to blaze fueled with self determination, goals, dreams and anything else you want to add to it – you can do it, no matter what, there are ways, there are people, things and places that can help. But remember it is you that is the primary architect that’s building your future. Whatever it is that you have always wanted to do – now is the time. You get to design how you will do it by exploring and developing the process as it fits your needs. Just pay attention and you will find amazing ways to depart your way from blame and anger into, you, sweet, beautiful, amazing you.
Hi Cheryl. I am so happy you shared this with me. I shared the link with Dr.B yesterday after you left.
You are a fabulous writer. I could see you and feel your fear and frustration as I read through each entry. I felt annoyed and embarassed at the way you were treated by the medical providers and was once again reminded how important it is to explain what we are doing and looking for and to always put ourself in the place of our patients.
I am truly humbled by your situation with everything you have gone through and also encouraged by your hard work and perservance. I shared this blog with some friends on Facebook! Would love to see it go viral for you! I’m so looking forward to your next posts! Thanks again for sharing Cheryl!
Your biggest fan!
Kathy, thank you so much for your lovely comments. I so appreciate them, and you. Thank you also for sharing my blog with your friends! I too hope it goes viral, that would be a dream come true and a sure way of sharing words of hope.
Share the day with joy,